Dial 999, he's not responding
"Our 3 month old son has collapsed. He's unresponsive and has gone floppy"
The words choked out my mouth as I desperately rang 999 for an ambulance.
It was 23rd December and only 5 minutes before had been fun and laughter as we all excitedly met my parents-in-law at the train station and walked home, pushing Sebastian in the buggy, with discussions all about Christmas and the fun planned for the big day, only 2 days away.
Sebastian had had a chesty cough for a few days, and we'd had a conversation just that afternoon that given it wasn't improving we should see the GP the next day, especially given that Christmas would close everything down except emergency cases, and we weren't one of those. Our child was healthy, we'd been told by numerous professionals; despite his lack of weight and other signs things weren't quite right! It had been heavily inferred we just weren't feeding him right, and his constant tiredness when feeding was down to us not being firm enough in keeping him awake. Sounds ridiculous now, and it sounded ridiculous then!
They say professionals should listen to parents, but so often the 'we know best' attitude is at the fore. My frustration on this issue has never been entirely put to bed. Over the last 3 years I've found 2 sides to the NHS; utter brilliance and also utter failure and ineptitude! The brilliance mainly from London based hospitals and failure and ineptitude from our provincial hospitals!
(This may stir debate, and I don't mean our local hospitals are all awful, tho being put into special measures should tell you something's not right. And I appreciate there are many dedicated professionals within them doing their best with not very much.)
Mild panic had now ensued within our house in the minutes since I had phoned 999. Trying to stay calm for our 2 year old daughter, yet desperate for our son to be ok.
What seemed like ages, but in reality was only 5 minutes, flashing blue lights told us the ambulance had arrived. They came in, tried to revive him, then whisked him out to the ambulance. In this time an ambulance car had also arrived to assist.
Despite their professional calm we could tell they weren't 'happy' with how Sebastian was! Both myself and my wife frantically made plans with her parents to stay with our daughter at home as we jumped in the ambulance; Julie in the back with Sebastian, me in the front passenger seat.
As we made our way to the hospital I made small talk with the driver, desperate to keep it together, not cry or show any emotion. I went into 'Man Mode'!
The ambulance car went ahead at each roundabout to stop traffic so we could go as fast as possible. This didn't make me feel any better for the situation!
In the hospital Sebastian was taken off to be worked on by the A&E team. Doctors came to ask us questions as to what had happened. It was at this stage it became very clear to me what they were thinking: shaken baby!
The policeman standing in the background, and the fact 3 separate doctors came to speak to me to ensure I gave the same 'story' each time. They didn't ask my wife, only me! To say I still feel anger at them for this is true. To be guilty until proven innocent is something I wouldn't wish on anyone, especially when 1) you're entirely innocent and 2) you just want your son to be ok.
Sebastian was whisked off to be x-rayed. I wasn't allowed in the X-ray room. tho my wife was. After all, I was potentially a danger to my son, right?!
They also did a lumbar puncture, then we waited for the results. Once it became clear the X-rays were all good and Sebastian hadn't been shaken I was suddenly back in the picture. The policeman melted away, the doctors went about their business. At no time was I given an apology for how I was treated during one of the most stressful times of my life. I appreciate they need to rule out all possibilities, but it's the failure to talk afterwards and just say something like; "sorry about that, but you understand we have to assume the worst until we know otherwise" that still eats away at me!
Sebastian was subsequently diagnosed with bronchiolitis. A potentially dangerous virus if you have undiagnosed heart issues, as Sebastian did at that time.
The A&E we were taken to doesn't have a children's ward, so we were transferred to a hospital a half hours drive away. A few quick plans put in place; my wife going with our son and I got a taxi home to get an overnight bag ready for both my wife and our son and then drove to the other hospital.
There we were put in a cold, bare side room within the ward. The night became day, and after very little sleep so began the next stage in finding the real reason for Sebastian's health issues. But that's for another day...
The words choked out my mouth as I desperately rang 999 for an ambulance.
It was 23rd December and only 5 minutes before had been fun and laughter as we all excitedly met my parents-in-law at the train station and walked home, pushing Sebastian in the buggy, with discussions all about Christmas and the fun planned for the big day, only 2 days away.
Sebastian had had a chesty cough for a few days, and we'd had a conversation just that afternoon that given it wasn't improving we should see the GP the next day, especially given that Christmas would close everything down except emergency cases, and we weren't one of those. Our child was healthy, we'd been told by numerous professionals; despite his lack of weight and other signs things weren't quite right! It had been heavily inferred we just weren't feeding him right, and his constant tiredness when feeding was down to us not being firm enough in keeping him awake. Sounds ridiculous now, and it sounded ridiculous then!
They say professionals should listen to parents, but so often the 'we know best' attitude is at the fore. My frustration on this issue has never been entirely put to bed. Over the last 3 years I've found 2 sides to the NHS; utter brilliance and also utter failure and ineptitude! The brilliance mainly from London based hospitals and failure and ineptitude from our provincial hospitals!
(This may stir debate, and I don't mean our local hospitals are all awful, tho being put into special measures should tell you something's not right. And I appreciate there are many dedicated professionals within them doing their best with not very much.)
Mild panic had now ensued within our house in the minutes since I had phoned 999. Trying to stay calm for our 2 year old daughter, yet desperate for our son to be ok.
What seemed like ages, but in reality was only 5 minutes, flashing blue lights told us the ambulance had arrived. They came in, tried to revive him, then whisked him out to the ambulance. In this time an ambulance car had also arrived to assist.
Despite their professional calm we could tell they weren't 'happy' with how Sebastian was! Both myself and my wife frantically made plans with her parents to stay with our daughter at home as we jumped in the ambulance; Julie in the back with Sebastian, me in the front passenger seat.
As we made our way to the hospital I made small talk with the driver, desperate to keep it together, not cry or show any emotion. I went into 'Man Mode'!
The ambulance car went ahead at each roundabout to stop traffic so we could go as fast as possible. This didn't make me feel any better for the situation!
In the hospital Sebastian was taken off to be worked on by the A&E team. Doctors came to ask us questions as to what had happened. It was at this stage it became very clear to me what they were thinking: shaken baby!
The policeman standing in the background, and the fact 3 separate doctors came to speak to me to ensure I gave the same 'story' each time. They didn't ask my wife, only me! To say I still feel anger at them for this is true. To be guilty until proven innocent is something I wouldn't wish on anyone, especially when 1) you're entirely innocent and 2) you just want your son to be ok.
Sebastian was whisked off to be x-rayed. I wasn't allowed in the X-ray room. tho my wife was. After all, I was potentially a danger to my son, right?!
They also did a lumbar puncture, then we waited for the results. Once it became clear the X-rays were all good and Sebastian hadn't been shaken I was suddenly back in the picture. The policeman melted away, the doctors went about their business. At no time was I given an apology for how I was treated during one of the most stressful times of my life. I appreciate they need to rule out all possibilities, but it's the failure to talk afterwards and just say something like; "sorry about that, but you understand we have to assume the worst until we know otherwise" that still eats away at me!
Sebastian was subsequently diagnosed with bronchiolitis. A potentially dangerous virus if you have undiagnosed heart issues, as Sebastian did at that time.
The A&E we were taken to doesn't have a children's ward, so we were transferred to a hospital a half hours drive away. A few quick plans put in place; my wife going with our son and I got a taxi home to get an overnight bag ready for both my wife and our son and then drove to the other hospital.
There we were put in a cold, bare side room within the ward. The night became day, and after very little sleep so began the next stage in finding the real reason for Sebastian's health issues. But that's for another day...
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