A letter and an acknowledgement of failings
I cried again! I know, what am I like? The simple fact of the matter is, when you've struggled with something mentally for 3 years, in addition to other issues that have effected your mental health before that, adding to your mental health burden, to finally have a letter confirming and acknowledging you were right all along and failings in care did occur, it's an emotional moment! It's a great weight lifted.
Our complaint to our hospital regarding the failures in care in Sebastian’s first 3 months has not only been received, but admission of said failings have been accepted!
We are now in the process of arranging a meeting with some senior people there to discuss how to ensure such failings do not occur again and hopefully to convince them to accept a pulse oximetry machine that we’re willing to raise funds to purchase, and also to be willing to accept specific CHD training, again funded through the same charity, for their sonographers to help improve CHD diagnosis at the 21 week pre-natal scan.
So baby steps thus far, but Julie and my negotiations are ongoing with them.
We’ve never looked to sue them, as it’s a stressful and negative action. We’ve only ever wanted to help improve things, to get something positive to happen out of a negative experience.
Today I think we’re one step closer to that happening. 👍
Suing wouldn't have fixed the problem. Sebastian always had the CHD and would always have required surgery. That wouldn't have changed. The only thing that should have been different is how we were treated as 'failing parents' being blamed for his health issues when no blame was deserved, and the fact that all the symptoms of CHD were missed for the ease of simply blaming us instead.
However, we are finally seeing something positive happening. For the month of February, a month that has been designated by persons unknown as #CHDAwareness month, I wanted to do more than 'just' raise money for CHD related charities. Something I did do, of course, as it's important, but it felt empty if I didn't try to fix the problem at the heart of the matter. (pun fully intended!)
That problem being the failings in care in my sons first 3 months that missed his CHD and caused him, and us, to suffer accordingly.
It's not a victory, as this isn't a battle we ever wanted to fight! The only 'win' will be when better training and equipment is in place to help ensure fewer babies are undiagnosed with CHD at birth and then remain undiagnosed for months after. In their reply the hospital are still currently unwilling to accept our offer of providing a pulse oximetry machine and make no mention of a SITUS doll and associated training for their sonographers that we again offered to fund. However they are willing to talk about why, and are willing to listen to us and the facts and statistics we have that prove they should accept said help!
What has been good is I also forwarded them a poster from Tiny Tickers charity on how to better spot CHD signs in undiagnosed babies, and they have printed off many copies and put them up where their midwives and health visitors can see them.
My wife and I look forward to meeting with the head of midwifery and a few paediatric consultants, once a mutually acceptable date has been reached, to discuss the issues and negotiate how the hospital can better improve their care, an outcome that is all we have ever wanted.
I should like to thank Tiny Tickers for their unwavering support for us in helping us get to this point. As a charity they are fighting to get CHD symptoms better recognised by health professionals and are the ones offering to put in pulse oximetry machines and offering training for sonographers.
It has taken us 3 years to get our mental health to a point where we feel strong enough to even begin the process of raising our complaint and trying to improve things for future parents. Tiny Tickers have offered support to us in providing us strong facts, backed up by recognised statistics, that we have given to the hospital, together with having more up our sleeve for the meeting, that has allowed us to be heard, and treated with respect by, the hospital and thus gaining the offer of a meeting to discuss everything.
Also, by being positive, not ranting at them and threatening to sue, has meant the wall of silence and 'deny everything' mode that large institutions often go into in situations like this hasn't occurred. I made it clear in my correspondence with them we had no intention of seeking compensation, and only want the outcome to be an admission of failings in care in the first 3 months of Sebastian's life and better equipment and training for staff for the future. It has allowed us to start things off on a better footing and to get a proper and positive dialogue going. If these negotiating tactics are successful, then that will be the victory we have only ever hoped for.
Positivity out of negativity. Given current issues in the news, and the Be Nice campaign, I feel our long held stance is even more apposite.
Our complaint to our hospital regarding the failures in care in Sebastian’s first 3 months has not only been received, but admission of said failings have been accepted!
We are now in the process of arranging a meeting with some senior people there to discuss how to ensure such failings do not occur again and hopefully to convince them to accept a pulse oximetry machine that we’re willing to raise funds to purchase, and also to be willing to accept specific CHD training, again funded through the same charity, for their sonographers to help improve CHD diagnosis at the 21 week pre-natal scan.
So baby steps thus far, but Julie and my negotiations are ongoing with them.
We’ve never looked to sue them, as it’s a stressful and negative action. We’ve only ever wanted to help improve things, to get something positive to happen out of a negative experience.
Today I think we’re one step closer to that happening. 👍
Suing wouldn't have fixed the problem. Sebastian always had the CHD and would always have required surgery. That wouldn't have changed. The only thing that should have been different is how we were treated as 'failing parents' being blamed for his health issues when no blame was deserved, and the fact that all the symptoms of CHD were missed for the ease of simply blaming us instead.
However, we are finally seeing something positive happening. For the month of February, a month that has been designated by persons unknown as #CHDAwareness month, I wanted to do more than 'just' raise money for CHD related charities. Something I did do, of course, as it's important, but it felt empty if I didn't try to fix the problem at the heart of the matter. (pun fully intended!)
That problem being the failings in care in my sons first 3 months that missed his CHD and caused him, and us, to suffer accordingly.
It's not a victory, as this isn't a battle we ever wanted to fight! The only 'win' will be when better training and equipment is in place to help ensure fewer babies are undiagnosed with CHD at birth and then remain undiagnosed for months after. In their reply the hospital are still currently unwilling to accept our offer of providing a pulse oximetry machine and make no mention of a SITUS doll and associated training for their sonographers that we again offered to fund. However they are willing to talk about why, and are willing to listen to us and the facts and statistics we have that prove they should accept said help!
What has been good is I also forwarded them a poster from Tiny Tickers charity on how to better spot CHD signs in undiagnosed babies, and they have printed off many copies and put them up where their midwives and health visitors can see them.
My wife and I look forward to meeting with the head of midwifery and a few paediatric consultants, once a mutually acceptable date has been reached, to discuss the issues and negotiate how the hospital can better improve their care, an outcome that is all we have ever wanted.
I should like to thank Tiny Tickers for their unwavering support for us in helping us get to this point. As a charity they are fighting to get CHD symptoms better recognised by health professionals and are the ones offering to put in pulse oximetry machines and offering training for sonographers.
It has taken us 3 years to get our mental health to a point where we feel strong enough to even begin the process of raising our complaint and trying to improve things for future parents. Tiny Tickers have offered support to us in providing us strong facts, backed up by recognised statistics, that we have given to the hospital, together with having more up our sleeve for the meeting, that has allowed us to be heard, and treated with respect by, the hospital and thus gaining the offer of a meeting to discuss everything.
Also, by being positive, not ranting at them and threatening to sue, has meant the wall of silence and 'deny everything' mode that large institutions often go into in situations like this hasn't occurred. I made it clear in my correspondence with them we had no intention of seeking compensation, and only want the outcome to be an admission of failings in care in the first 3 months of Sebastian's life and better equipment and training for staff for the future. It has allowed us to start things off on a better footing and to get a proper and positive dialogue going. If these negotiating tactics are successful, then that will be the victory we have only ever hoped for.
Positivity out of negativity. Given current issues in the news, and the Be Nice campaign, I feel our long held stance is even more apposite.
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